Why Start a Blog Now?

My story is not unique or new, I am just like every other woman who made choices her whole life, worked hard, always with the future in mind, who wakes up one day to find that she is officially middle aged. I knew it was coming. My kids were finishing high school and entering college and my career had been put on hold to help them with the transition. I knew when I resigned my tenure at the college that I would be isolating myself a bit, but I thought when the kids get settled I would just pick back up where I had left off. I didn’t count on the possibility that I would question my passion for teaching and would start the long process of asking myself “what’s next”? This would mark the beginning of the next five years of soul searching, contemplation and waiting……so much waiting.

At this point, I didn’t know that I was in a mid life crisis, because you have to be at mid life for that, right? I was over 40, just like all the other women I knew at the time and most of us were asking these same questions as our families, and purpose, was growing more independent.   It was actually great at the start. I had more time for working out, gardening and experimenting in the kitchen, all activities I enjoy. But over time I found that I wanted more: more human interaction, more purpose and more experiences. I decided to enter a culinary program to see if that industry held any future appeal. I really enjoyed cooking, baking and working in a commercial kitchen and met some great friends that I still see when we can get our schedules to align. However, the thought of “proving myself” all over again in a new field was overwhelming and I knew that I did not want to work the restaurant hours required for success in the hospitality industry. While I was wrestling with these major life adjustments, my husband was entering his mid life crisis and where my crisis was a quiet, internal struggle, his was a category 5 tornado that ripped apart the trailer park. Any woman who has dealt with a man in crisis knows how self absorbed and all consuming his world becomes. There was no room for my problems or concerns at that time, and how could I figure out what I wanted until he decided if he would retire? He spoke of moving to another country, changing jobs, retiring and traveling the world….and so on, and so on. So, I waited some more. I know how hard this question is and that there is no quick answer and I wanted to be supportive and give him the space and time to work this all out. That was three years ago and he has yet to pull the trigger on any clear decision, and I am tired of waiting.

This blog is an account of how I continue to cope with both of our mid life issues and where I find an outlet for those times when I am overwhelmed and feel weighed down by the enormity of these difficult problems. I have found that exercise has been critical for my mental and spiritual health. I have always enjoyed physical activity but at this point in my life, I have really come to understand the benefits of regular workouts.  I signed up to train for a half marathon on a whim, and have finished two this year, I have started rock climbing (indoor and outdoor) and find that both of these challenge me and evoke a sense of pride upon completion. Pride in myself has not always been easy to find, so I have a new appreciation for it now that I am older. Another area that I find myself gravitating toward is time in the kitchen, cooking and baking are fantastic creative outlets for me.  I find it calming to work in the kitchen and really enjoy challenging myself with difficult or new recipes. Gardening is another way for me to relax, create and connect with the outdoors and I have spent considerable time and effort building structures, experimenting with different plantings and weeding (so much weeding!). And, like so many others, I love to travel and explore new areas and cultures as often as possible.

It is my hope that I will be able to connect with others to share ideas, stories and life lessons and, maybe, provide some support to those of you who are also in this interesting phase of life.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase”                              -Dr. Martin Luther King

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42 thoughts on “Why Start a Blog Now?

  1. I’m so happy to find you and your blog Dee. I relate very strongly to everything you describe here and feel in exactly the same place! I look forward to reading more and getting to know you through your blog. Warmest wishes from Australia.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi,
      I love being able to connect with others in the same situation! Thank you for taking the time to respond and share your story and I hope blogging has brought you some of the comfort that it has in my continued quest!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Love your about page. I think most of us can relate to your experiences…except in my case it was me who decided to up sticks and move abroad ..Hubby had two choices come or stay..lol….He has not really done anything new since retiring except to read..whereas I seem to have done so much and am always looking for a new challenge…Hence the title of my blog….However I am now in posssession of a book called Food Forensics and to say it is an eye opener is an understatement. I am sure that will generate a few new posts on the subject. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • I haven’t heard of that book- I will have to check that out! Since it is summer now I am busy with rock climbing and running but soon that will all calm down and I will get back to more reading and baking. I hope you do a review of that book!

      Like

    • Honestly, I never would have thought I would either. I think that is the true definition of a crisis. It is so destabilizing and disorienting that you will do or say anything to ground yourself. For me, that was running, it would have been easier to have the traditional affair!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I am glad to find your blog. We share many things in common. I have a MA in linguistics and am state certified. I have taught public, private, charter part time, full time, overseas in Asia, Europe, and UAE. Currently I teach part time as an adjunct at a university and online with adult learners.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Trust me I had a great lecture here, it was very, very interesting. “Join the world of women in mid life crisis!” I believe we have a lot in common! I am a working mum in my forties and my one and only daughter graduated from University last year and since then she has been preparing to set up herself in creating her own business. And this 2018 she will be embarking upon it. And me as mum, I have created my own little world of interior decorating, which I have always loved now that my daughter no longer needs full time mummy, but instead she needs mum. I was professionally a secretary for over 20-something odd years. One day I thought enough was enough and I decided I wanted to be on my own and building myself at my own pace. I went to college and studied interior decor. After that I embark upon doing them at fabric level for home decorations. And here I am loving every bits of things I make. And life is beautiful. I am on the verge of making my shop to sell all my crafts for home decor all made “at home.” Isn’t life beautiful when the kids are grown up and spreading their wings, we have the time of our live as mums. And now that wordpress has come along, we are meeting mums and here we are sharing our ideas. I am so glad I met you. Welcome to My Country Epoque, a mum in the mid life crisis – let’s talk about it haha!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for taking the time to let me know about your story 🙂 I have enjoyed meeting folks like you in a similar stage of life. It helps to know what works (and does not work) for people as they try to figure out “what’s next”. I will be following your progress through your blog!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you dtills, I was about to close my computer and go to bed, am still awake at 3 am oooh life is strange haha. I just saw you here and I thought I will stay and read. Thank you for your response.

        Like

  5. Oh my goodness I so loved reading this. There are so many of us going through the same thing – we should form a group or something. Wanna join my band? 😉 I admire you so much for running those marathons – exercise is SO important, why the hell did I not realise this earlier? I don’t think I can handle a marathon but am planning to learn drums well enough to play with a rock group next summer. You gotta have goals, right? Loved your blog and look forward to reading more

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I am so glad I was able to read this Dee. I completely understand where you are coming from, and where you are. You have made great progress in your personal journey, which is inspiring to others. Thank you for reaching out to me, and always being supportive. Wishing you and your husband happiness and fulfillment in all you do. Best to you, Michelle

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Consider yourself fortunate. My mid-life crisis started before I was seven years old and I still haven’t figured anything out yet!

    Okay, I did figure out the reasons for dribbling, no teeth and nappies. I hated those things. I just hope I’m able to avoid them when I reach the other end of the scale.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha, well by that criteria I am on my fourth or fifth crisis then! I guess the good news is that I have lived long enough to make it to a midlife crisis, many bad things could have happened before now to prevent my entering the 40s, let alone 51! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I love your About Me page you are so honest and I relate Totally! So glad you found my blog Dee and I look forward to reading more on your blog. I started a new series on mine called, ‘Amazing over 50’s’ I wondered if you’d like to do a guest post for me as you’d be perfect! My series is about trying to shout out for the Mid Lifers who enjoy keeping fit and healthy, live outside the box or have achievements to shout about, or who are just taking the ‘Mid Life’ years by the scruff of the neck and shaking it about 😁
    If you’d like to chat further about this, would you email me on sam.fiftysomething@mail.com please, (I can’t seem to find an email for you) Yeahy to the Mid Life bloggers! Look forward cohering from you and great to be in touch 😘

    Liked by 1 person

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